39 Weeks and... Could YOU JUST COME OUT ALREADY???!!! (Part I of Jack's Birth Story)

I found this little gem in my draft box.  I distinctly remember writing it and feeling much better afterwards.  I also remember deciding not to post it because I didn't want to sound like a big complaining baby.  Maybe I was a big complaining baby, but in fairness, it had been a rough pregnancy and a rough year.  I think I was also really scared at this point too. I was genuinely frightened to give birth for the first time ever in my life.  Reading this made me realize that I haven't really shared much about Jack's birth with anyone.  So let's just call this Part I in Jack's Birth Story.  More to come soon.


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I am a proponent of natural birthing. No, I don't think it's the only way and yes, I do think there are many times when medicine in birthing is a very, very good thing. I believe that women should have options when it comes to bringing their babies into the world.

My past two births have been fairly good experiences, especially in retrospect. I avoided many unnecessary interventions and an epidural and was able to nurse and bond right away. All things I really, really wanted...

So, how was it that at 11pm last night I was begging Mark to take me in for a cesarean... and I'm pretty sure I was serious.

This pregnancy has been very, very different than the others. It all started with the progesterone injections every other day, not fun, but not the worst. But then of coure, the vomiting began...and continued EVERY DAY until I was about 20 weeks. I lost weight and had many days where I was simply incapacitated. Then, we prepared for a move and moved far away from a midwife I completely trusted and a birthing world that was ideal. I searched for a health provider here and came up short on many accounts. And then, just like magic (of the black kind, I'd have to say), on the first day of my third trimester, I began vomiting daily again.

And then the craziness started. I got the stomach flu at 33 weeks and with it, accompanied many hours of hard, very real contractions. And I remembered how hard labor is. And in the absence of a health provider that I really trusted, I began to grow really frightened of the journey up ahead. The flu went away and so did the contractions and, despite throwing up almost daily, I actually felt pretty good.  Fast forward to 37 weeks and a new friend entered the seen: constipation and with it, hemorroids. And now, here we are at term with an incredibly awful UTI and the stomach flu again! And...I am pretty much giving up. I don't really care how this baby enters the world as long as it is in a safe and healthy way. I'm so sick I can't imagine laboring or pushing this little guy out. I was scheduled to be induced tonight and I called and cancelled. Normally, I would be very happy to put off an induction, but I am not. I am so incredibly sick and uncomfortable I just don't care.